Forgiveness is at the heart of heaven.

I refuse to bore you with a theological treatise on "forgiveness." You're done with that, right?

All I've got to say about that is: Forgiveness has nothing to do with continuing to expose yourself to another's attack, or irresponsibility, or whatever it is that s/he needs forgiveness for. You don't say to someone who smacks you in the face, "Ok, I forgive you. Go ahead, smack me again."

Ok, maybe one more time. And be grateful that God only gave you two cheeks.

But there's nothing about forgiveness that requires you to let someone hold your hand over a fire. There is nothing about forgiveness that requires you to treat them as though what they did never happened, especially if it continues to happen. That is not forgiveness. It's called enablement, and pretty close to co-dependence.

Let me tell you about Harvey. True story.

I met Harvey in prison. I was doing a seminar there and Harvey attended. In fact, he more than attended. He was enthusiastic. He was personable. He was engaged. He so resonated with the content of the seminar, and with me, that I recommended him to participate in Prison Fellowship's two-week Washington, D.C., program. He was released from prison in order to attend that, too. He went back to prison to finish his sentence, and presumably to represent Jesus Christ and communicate his faith to fellow inmates.

When Harvey had served his time, he came to work for me. I began to meet with Harvey to take his discipleship even deeper. He was great to work with. Everybody who met Harvey loved him. He was a great representative of the ministry in which I was involved. I came to trust Harvey as one would trust his closest friend or brother.

Big mistake.

An opportunity came along to greatly expand our work in another large city. I sent Harvey to represent us in making arrangements, attend meetings, and contribute his expertise working the program.

I gave him a credit card to cover the ministry's expenses. I trusted him. I trusted him completely.

Harvey took the credit card and in two week's time ran up a bill of considerably more than $10,000. All sorts of items, including meals at expensive restaurants, new suits, and other stuff of personal and entertainment value.

I fired Harvey.

Harvey never admitted that he had swindled the ministry, a ministry wholly dedicated to the Lord's service. He denied everything, even in the face of prima facie evidence, the credit card bill to which he alone had access and credit card slips that bore his signature.

I had to explain this mess to one of my board members. He read me the riot act. "Why did you give a convicted felon, a man who hung wallpaper (wrote bad checks) everywhere he went? What were you thinking?"

He resigned from the board. I can't say that I blame him. And to be sure, I had nothing to offer by way of explanation, as to why I had trusted this man. At some level, I may have been responsible for what he did, owing to the fact that I had given him a terrible temptation.

I forgave Harvey . . . and, myself.

By that, I mean that I paid the credit card bill (that took some time) and did not press charges. Some have argued strongly that I should have pressed charges. I decided no. I felt that I should do the "Christian thing," and forgive. I have not regretted that, even to this day.

I did, however, tell Harvey never to come around me, my family, or this ministry again.

I don't know where Harvey is today. I would not be surprised to learn that he is back in prison. If he is not, then good for him. It means he has not repeated his mistakes (read crimes), and that he has reformed and hopefully has become a productive, Christian citizen.

-- PDM

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