Me: Father, I need more discipline and clarity of thought. I need to work on the tasks I believe you have given me to do. I seem unstable and tossed about, reacting instead of acting. I need to be convinced that what I believe you have given me to do, that you really want me to do it.
Sometimes, I think you would have me just relax and let you and the Holy Spirit minister to me. What a selfish thought. I have always believed, Lord, that as long as you lend me breath, that I should spend that breath in service to you. But the struggle is more than I can handle, or so it seems.
I want to get back to taking care of my body. I want more energy and less pain. It is probable Lord, that I have never served you as you would have me serve you. This is a miserable feeling, Lord.
God: "Perhaps you are too hard on yourself. What have I said about entering into my rest? Perhaps you set unrealistic goals, when you need not set any goals at all. You think I have forgotten about your labor in my vineyard? Have YOU forgotten?
Why do you weep? Why are you discontented? Have you no awareness of my energy in your life? Ask yourself. Why do you yet live? You live because I have set the days of your life on earth. I love you. All you have to do is live and I will work through you. It is not up to you. It is up to me."
Me: Dare I think these words come from you?
God: "See? There you go again."
SCRIPTURE: "For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His." -- Hebrews 4:10
"It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." -- Philippians 2:13
Me: Perhaps I should just enjoy what I know you have given me to do. Perhaps I should just enjoy it.
SCRIPTURE: "Come to me, all of you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Come walk by my side, and learn of me. You will find that I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my walk is easy, and my burden is light." -- Matthew 11:28-30
Me: Perhaps I should live by what I have been taught.
God: "You are more concerned about your sinful condition than you are about my presence in your life. Your daily life. Are you not aware that every beat of your heart belongs to me? I will do with it what I will."
Me: Then my every breath is in your hands?
God: "Yes!"
Me: Then I need to quit whining and leave my life to you.
God: "Yes!"
Me: Good talk, Lord. Thanks.
God: "You're welcome."
Footnote: I get fidgity whenever I see pieces that have God talking words that do not come from the Bible. Yet here I am doing the same thing by putting words in the "mouth" of God. God is a Spirit, so He probably doesn't have a mouth. So He gave me an imagination. Sometimes He speaks to us all in that way.
-- PDM
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